Sitting Ducks

My journal becomes vague at this point. Every date has a day written with a question mark by it? All time became a blur. What was one day at home was another in Ethiopia. Our sleep was shollow our meals, less than satisfying to this point. We were tired, and hungry. But most of all, we were just caught up in emotional and spiritual confusion. I have never experience this feeling to this extent. Purpose, right and wrong, waste, selfishness vs. selflessness all came into question. Was my life right? Were the things I did enough or did I just justify it to be enough? How did I feel about who and where to adopt my next child? So many thoughts that they litterally clogged my brain. Kim and I had an ongoing joke that between her half a brain (she has a legitimate medical excuse for her other half) and my half a brain- we were one whole brain out to represent the women in America! Look out Ethiopia.

And though I had so much goin on inside, I had no real stress. That is right. How is that possible? I was sad, confused, disoriented and yet overjoyed, pleased, amazed, and overwhelmed with a feeling of being blessed. But NO STRESS! I knew that I was where I was supposed to be. I was learning to let go of myself and not rely on my own understanding, as the Bible has been teaching us all for years. In the confusion and in NOT trying to figure it all out, I found a peace. I was able to crack jokes and laugh. I was smiling, and child like most all of the time. It felt so great. I didn't need a shower to feel at peace. I didn't need a warm meal to make me complete. I needed to LET GO of my own need to fix it all and control it all, and just do what I could with what the Lord lead me to do. (Keep re-reading this part, Brooke.)

So day three is upon us. We are ready to embark on the next BIG part of our trip. It is Hope for the Hopeless. Backround: Pastor Surefel lives in Phoenix. He is a native Ethiopian Christian that during the communist regiem was imprisoned 4 times for preaching his faith. Upon his release last time, he claimed asilem in America and could not go back unless the government fell. The communist party fell out of control in 1989 and Pastor Surefel has committed his life and personal resources to helping further the kingdom in Ethiopia and specifically has been called to orphan care. Surefel has a street home, a boys home, and a girls home. He also has land that he is building a replacment boy and girl home on in an attempt to improve the care as well as to eliminate the rent costs.

Lsanu picks us up. He is late today and offers us no explination. We drive past the Prime Minister's palace and veer to the right. Down past some little stands and then turn off the paved road onto another bumpy and rocky road. Now remember what I told you about Lsanu's car. I am holding my breath as we drive. We waive to the people that are staring in as we pass. We approach an open area from this alley. It is like the center with spokes of roads coming off of it. There are 2 large dumpsters in it. The first and only dumpsters we ever saw there. A boy pulls himself up and into the dumpster, sifting through it for food. Kim thinks we are not being watched at this point and pulls out the video camera. She begins taping with a heavy heart. Mind you, in our culture, we waste perfectly good food and put it into the trash. In their culture, they do not. Anything that would resemble food in this bin would not even be considered as ONCE consumable by American standards. We are both just staring in disbelief.

Then the shouting begins! Kim was caught! Some men had sought relief from the sun by sitting behind a wall which was now within our view. They were very offended that Kim would tape this boy and Kim immediately regretted her decision. She had no ill intentions. She just wanted to show people the lengths that people were going to in order to eat in Ethiopia. There was not even an opportunity to explain. The men were slowing following behind our car, fists raised, and speaking loud Amharic. When we asked Lsanu what they were saying, a smart " I don't know" followed. Apparently he forgot his native language at that moment!

The stress of it all fell on Lsanu and us alike. He had made a wrong turn and needed to go in REVERSE! YIKES! So as we went backward, so did the men following us. Some returned to their spots behind the wall, a few others didn't. Then it happened. Yup... it really did! Right there. Our car got stuck on a rock. It was a big rock that as we approached and I thought to myself "why are we not trying to go AROUND this rock" but given the visible stress on Lsanu's face, I chose to say nothing. He pressed the gas harder. The car rocked forward on the rock. He put it in reverse and we rocked back.

Now here is the amazing part. The people, that moments ago we had offended so deeply, lowered their fists and placed their hands on the rear of the car. They became silent and then pushed us off of the rock. I nodded in gratitude. Lsanu did the same. Kim was in shock and likely remembers nothing past shutting off her camera!!! Do you think that would have happened in LA? Phoenix? We were again moving forward and this time down the right path. We were just moments away from the street home to Hope for the Hopeless.