When Burdens are Bigger than Excuses

It was only about 2 weeks ago that I made an impromptu decision to go to Africa. If you would have asked me at the start of this year if I would get to Africa, the answer would have been a firm "no" followed by "I have wanted to go for a long time and hope to go one day, but this is not the year". And so as it always seems, my plans for this year are different than the Lord's.

I have a friend, Kim, who is adopting a BEAUTIFUL girl from Ethiopia. She is a three year old that just seeing her smile melts my heart. She, like all too many of the children in Ethiopia, is in need a the love and support of a forever family. Anyway, Kim found herself in a situation where her husband was going to stay back state side to care for the house and kids while Kim wondered across the world to pick up this wonderful child. So in this, I prayed about whether I was to join her and support her in this quest.

It seems like an easy decision now that I look back on it. Though at the time, I was in huge internal turmoil. The financial cost of going, the strain on the caregivers for the kids while I was away, the added pressures put on my J, the appointments that would need to moved, the vaccines, finding the passport, who would do this and that... There are always reasons to just stay. To sit comfortably at home with the daily grind and not challenge myself beyond the norm. I layed in bed the last night before the decision and asked myself at what point would there be no more excuses for NOT going? At what point would I be willing to stop rationalizing and start trusting... and so it has begun.

For those of you that don't have faith in our Lord, you may not fully ever understand why I am going. Though there are practical things that Kim and I will be doing on this trip to help orphans and with The Grafted Tree, in addition to picking up Kim's new child, the reasons go so much further than that. Ethiopia is a place of grief and loss. It is a place of true despair. And though I have heard that it is beautiful in many ways, it is a place without Christ, without medicine, without basic health, without food, without shelter... just plain WITHOUT. I feel burdened by so much of Africa. Ethiopia being a part of that. I feel burdened on a spiritual level. It is this burden that spoke louder than all the excuses I could drum up. It was this burden that plunged me onto the phone with the travel agent the very next day (and a few numbers given to me by Kim!). So what will come of this deep burden once I am there? Or when I return?? I don't know. It is scary to think, really. If I see it, feel it, smell it... how can I not do something about it? And what does that look like? What is that cost of the action vs. the inaction?

Excuses. Why do we do what we do? Why don't we do what we don't? When is the time to take the plunge into the unknown and step out in faith? Now is my time.