On behalf of this foster boy

I sit here tonight fighting back tears as I write. It doesn't take much for me to cry these days. It is rather normal, common, and quite pathetic in many cases. But tonight it is for good reason that I feel like crying. I am so grateful for my family. I know many people say this and think they mean it. Yet their actions aren't those of deep appreciation when they cheat on their spouses, beat their kids, buy toys and not food, etc. I don't want this to be a judgement, I just feel that our life experience have lead to a very deep appreciation. And having a spouse that has been through it all with me... I just feel so incredibly blessed.

Yet this is NOT the point. Or the reason for my emotions. Nor the reason that it is 20 past 11 and I am up and writing this now. My good friend Lynn has a foster child from an Indian Reservation and through their foster care system. He is an amazing, now 6 year old boy. He has a life shortening disease called cystic fybrosis and Lynn brough him home now nearly 4 years ago and has loved him as her own. She brought him from a state of near death to a thriving member of their large and connected family. So that is the backround. And tonight- she asks for all our prayers. This child has had a case plan that was supposed to lead to adoption for about 2 years now. And instead of a severance hearing and an adoption date, she is getting word that there will now be BM visitation starting regularly. Yes, that is right. 4 years later, and visitations will be starting. She is being told to be prepared for her son to be removed and put into a family of which he knows no one.

Of course this story rings too close to home for me with my girls. You may have noticed that there are no pictures of my girls on my blog. They can not be until they are adopted (I speak as if it is a matter of when and not if, as Lynn once also spoke of her son). I went through a time where my girls' case plan looked grim at best. I was a wreck. And as soon as I could see some blue sky through the clouds, I GRABBED ON! And I am still holding on to the hopes and prayers that "THE COURT HEARING" will sometime happen. If I hadn't this hope, I would be just lost. I would go through my days as I once did and I will not do that again. I can not.

I love this boy. I love Lynn. I love her whole family. And I hate the system. Raising the children is the easy part. Meeting their "special needs" is CAKE compared to dealing with courts and case plans. What will it be like parenting without the burden of courts and case plan? I can not say that I know. I can only say that I hope to know soon.

Please take a moment and say a prayer for Lynn and her LAST unadopted child. Lynn is tired and needs strength. And if you could, please add my girls to the list. The system is so broken and these children need mercy. They deserve it.